Birthdays

Last Friday I turned 23 years old. Now 23 is not a special number. It’s no 21 or 30, just a point in-between. And that’s how I kind of feel right now, in-between. Sometimes I feel like I haven’t arrived, like my life is still waiting for me somewhere off in the distance. Am I experiencing a quarter-life crisis? Maybe.

Each birthday seems like the opportune moment to evaluate your own life. This doesn’t mean I’m dying my hair and moving to Italy. I won’t be making any drastic changes. Most people can only make gradual changes, myself included. Habits don’t form overnight.

I achieved most of my goals this year. I got a full-time job. I moved out of home. I got my driver’s licence — wait, that’s a lie. I failed my Restricted test and have been put off ever since. Of course I’m constantly reminded how annoying it is not to have a car or the ability to drive it. There’s still two months yet!

I’m exercising more, even going to the gym (something I’ve never done before).

I’m still pushing towards living a minimalist life. Now that’s something extreme for a crazed hoarder like myself. I think I can manage selling off my current gen games eg. Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3, but my older console & PC games are going to require strength like nothing else. The purpose of minimalism is really just so you can focus on what’s truly important to you. And having all this junk lying around is doing nothing but get in the way and cause stress and worry.

I haven’t found love and well, that’s a shame, but I know I have to keep pressing on.

While my job is great, and by far the best job I’ve had, it really doesn’t give me room to be creative. And that’s what my writing lets me do. But alas you can’t just start earning mega bucks for blogs you post on the net. Well I’m sure the odd few have managed to strike gold.

Right now I’m applying for Journalism schools across the country. It was one way for me to get into the official games press, but now I’m not so sure if that’s still what I want to do. Life is complicated. And I suck at decision making. You do not want to be in line behind me at MickyD’s. Or maybe you can, I just go and choose the same old thing, take the same old path.

I’m happy with my life right now, don’t get me wrong. There’s just always that little man tugging on your ear, telling you that you must have more, that this can’t be all there is. And as much as I want to live in the present, saying it is a million times easier than putting it into practice.

I hear of people’s OE’s and their fantastic trips all around the world. I went to America last year and here I am complaining about not seeing the world. What gives?! Perhaps I need something more than just a holiday, a relocation, or a whole year away. Where would I go? What would I do? The best thing about writing is that you can do it pretty much anywhere. While I might not be the next J.K. Rowling in 2012, I sure as hell am gonna take a crack at it.

As you may have found from reading all this, my mind is in weird places right now. Parts of me are happy and content, seeing me make progress, improve myself. While other parts still don’t think it’s enough, that I’m moving too slow, that I need to make some drastic decisions.

And I guess that’s how everyone feels — please don’t tell me I have split-personality disorder. I often argue in my head, but that’s normal right?

Ageing needn’t be a scary thing. It opens up new doors to things you might’ve never thought of before. Heck, I’m even willing to give yoga a go right now.

This would be the perfect place to insert some witty saying or famous quote, but I’m not. For one that’d involve searching Google, but these messages can only take us so far. You need to find your own message, and one that resonates with you. And it doesn’t have to be set in stone either. Don’t be afraid to change the rules as you go along. As of November 2011 my message to myself would be:

 

“Be happy with where you are now, but don’t be afraid to try something new.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *