Flash Fiction: Mismatch

Inspired by the prompt on Typetrigger.




We were a couple on opposite sides of the spectrum. Linda was adventurous and daring, always after that next big thrill. Last year it was the snowboarding craze. This year it was archery. I tagged along of course, as any good boyfriend should. I tried my best to enjoy these activities, but it just wouldn’t take. She would just tease me, “Oh Simon, stop being such a grumpy moose.”

How I hated being called a grumpy moose.

So one day I sat her down and looked her straight in those pretty blue eyes. I had semi-practiced a speech in front of the mirror a few hours prior. One could not go into these things blind you know.

“Darling, you know I love you.”

She nodded.

“I come with you to your outdoor pursuits.”
“You drag your feet,” she interjected.
“Yes, well there is good reason for that. I’m just not that kinda guy.”
“So what are you saying. You want to break up?”
“No, no. Nothing like that. Listen, here’s a plan I concocted.”

I pulled out a printed sheet covered in monthly timetables. “You know my friend Matty?” I asked.

“Yes… Where is this going Simon?”
“Well you see, I thought it would be a good idea, him being into these sorts of pursuits, a real outdoorsy guy you know, that he for the duration of these activities take my place as a sort of stand in.”
“You want to split boyfriend duties?”

I pointed at the tables. “Now you just pick the date you next want to do archery or what have you, and I’ll arrange with Matty to go with you. And when you get back I’ll be here waiting for you, ready for our movie marathons.”

Linda paused. “About those movie marathons…”

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